I’m going to tell you exactly what happens when you want to tell a woman HOW SEXY SHE IS.
You feel an INSTINCT of ATTRACTION in your gut (it’s the one that makes you DESIRE HER but feel ANXIOUS to APPROACH her)
Then when I’m coaching guys I see one, or several of these scenarios happen:
- You’re worried about what that guy over there will think if you’re totally open about your desires: so you choose to play it safe. If you’re in a shop you may loiter next to her for a bit, then ask her about which brand of olive oil she prefers… when what you mean to say is:
“Wow, the way that you just moved past me was incredibly sexy so I had to say ‘hi’”
She then gets SUSPICIOUS because she recognises there’s a mismatch between what you’ve just said to her and what you really FEEL
2. You’re worried that if you’re 100% honest with her she will feel either:
Let’s deal with both: yes she could feel egotistical (maybe, though many beautiful women wander around EVERYDAY feeling unattractive, wondering where all the good guys are) if you give her a compliment. However, this only works if you see paying someone a compliment as having a direct link to wanting to have sex with that person.
Flip your mindset around. NOW.
- Give the compliment because you want to express yourself, not impress her.
- HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS physical attraction is your reason to go say ‘hi’, after that desire to connect with her as a human being before you take things further.
- Make your compliment totally SPECIFIC & SPONTANEOUS to her, because you FELT it, so she knows you haven’t just said the same thing to 5 other women that day.
Instead of spending a lot of time/ energy/ money learning how to behave like someone else; focus on getting really PROUD of who you are then all those signs of CONFIDENCE that you were trying to mimic will sort themselves out.
Don’t allow your INSTINCTS, your DESIRES, to become nothing more than Chinese whispers of what it once was after it has bypassed social pressure, and the perils of your conscious mind.
Start on this journey today and every day you will reap the rewards of saying ‘’I want you” rather than “I want your help with directions”.